This marks the 52nd week of full time farming for our family.  It's hard to believe that an entire year has gone by since we took a leap of faith and stepped into something new.  We've been asked several times over the past year why we made the decision to give up our careers in order to spend long days in the field, countless hours in meetings to discuss food system development-and if we're honest, a lot of restless nights hoping for the best.

Nathan and I come from very different backgrounds and have varying viewpoints, but together we come to the same core beliefs about food and community.  First, there is no limit to how many farmers can find success growing their small-scale farm businesses.  We all eat three meals a day and when you consider how much food that ads up to we must believe that we need more farmers growing sustainably grown, local food.  We must not see one another as the competition, but rather large corporations who in the past have had policy formed around their needs-adding to their success and the fall of the small farmer.  Together we can create a collaborative voice that makes huge differences for the future of local food.  We need to believe in ourselves and one another.  And second, anyone who is given the financial means, education, support and encouragement will buy local food.  We need to believe in moms with young children, busy professionals, refugee and immigrant families, kids in the lunch line, restaurant owners, college students-everyone.  We need to have meaningful conversations about what the real barriers are and how we can work together to make real changes.

From the beginning we made a decision to take only "enough".  Because isn't that really the problem?  Too many people taking more than their share.  We worked hard for several years to become debt free, became better stewards of our resources and learned to live on less.  Learned to fight the good fight on our family farm and were realistic that the hard work and challenges had just begun.  We determined what our family needed to support ourselves financially and added a little extra to offer a little pay to our friends for their physical and mental support of our farm.  We want to be filled with hope and promise for our own future so that we can lift others up, support them and believe that they will succeed.  We provide food for 35 families.  These families make a huge commitment to our farm and farm partners every week.  Most of them have increased their local food consumption by 40-60%.  Next, we determined how we could put the rest of our profits directly back into the local food system-to the farming friends that we love at Community Farmers Market.  One year in-we have been able to put a little over $100,000 back into the pockets of local farmers growing, raising or preparing milk, meat, cheese, fruits, bread, canned goods, eggs and meat.  Several of them have been able to use the confidence of a more steady income to take their own next steps.  This is the kind of community farming we want to be a part of.

Our business model may not make sense on paper and there is absolutely room for financial growth, but this is where our passion for community comes in.  If we allowed ourselves to continue taking more customers, growing our business till the seams were bursting then we would be left with  little space in our own lives to help others.  When our farming friends crop is suffering, the community garden needs irrigation, policy needs changed, people are hungry, our voice needs to be heard or a market needs a new building-we wouldn't have the time to stop what we are doing and pitch in.  We'd miss the blessings that come only through hard work, negotiation and watching your prayers get answered (most of the time in ways you weren't expecting).

We'd miss the opportunity to invest in our children a work ethic that includes doing things when you don't feel like it, hard discussions on effective collaboration and negotiation and experiences that take them out of their comfort zone and remind them that the world doesn't revolve around them.  Moments that show them why small-scale farming is so important.  Reminders that our food system is far from where it needs to be and that the taste of a vine ripe tomato can remind anyone of what we are really meant to be eating. 

Nathan is able to put all of that hard work he grew up doing into good use as he feeds the 35 families that we serve and he assists other farmers to make this farming thing work.  I am able to take the experiences of my past to serve others who are hungry.  I can only hope that my kids will know that we are all equal no matter what we look like, where we live or what we eat.  And that farming doesn't always look like farming.

Holding space for community allows us to stay grounded in the truth that eating good food is not meant to be a luxury and absolutely does not mean that you are doing this life better than anyone else.  It's a blessing that my family is thankful for each and every day.  It's something that everyone deserves access to.  Holding space for everyone in our community, spending time talking to folks so we know their needs, only taking our share so that other farmers can take theirs and leaving enough space for whatever comes next is the only way we know how to do this thing called farming full time.

And it's only possible by those who have believed in us when we weren't really meant to be the ones who did this kind of work.  The friends, neighbors and family who came around us as we lost Nathan's mother just as we took our leap of faith.  The customers who forgave us as we made mistakes, learned and did our best week after week.  The leaders in our community and across the state who listened to our concerns and helped us find our voice. 

When we think about what communities looked like in the past-it was probably much like this.  Everyone doing their part so that everyone will survive the winter (the future).  We look forward to what's next for us here at Need More Acres farm and are anxiously awaiting what we've been holding space for.

I'm most concerned about the connection between a mother and baby at birth, our relationships with the farmers that grow our food and the ability to do the most basic actions of life-together. I'm concerned because I believe that these are the things that make us fully human. They drive out the fear, greed and disconnection that lead us to non human addictions and dependency. Being fully human removes us from the need for frequent, daily moments of happy to allow us the occasional overwhelming joy.

Let me explain.

I've never met a small-scale farmer who doesn't question their decision to continue on every day.  Farming is really hard work.  You wake up tired and sore, push yourself all day long just to get up and do it all over again tomorrow.  Barely making ends meet, sacrificing comfort and ease for what often feels like the impossible.  Many of the farmers I know struggle with the temptation to take the full time job with health benefits and steady incomes.  To choose the work that would allow more down time and weekends off.  But they continue on because they love what they do-the dirt, the sweat, the growing of food.  It makes them feel human.

When someone makes the choice to support that farmer-something very meaningful happens.  This goes beyond the simple transaction or nourishment provided through food.  It's one human supporting another human financially for their hard work, dedication and courage.  Those dollars provide for the basic needs of the farmer (they pay the bills).  The human interaction that has always been there has been stripped down with the global food system we've created.  While dozens of people may have touched the tomato you purchase at the grocery store you may never have to make eye contact with a single person to purchase it.

When we purchase our food from a farmer who has grown, raised or prepared it just for us we participate in human connection.  We ourselves become fully human. 

I see this in the birth process as well.  Our bodies we're beautifully designed to go into labor when we are emotionally/spiritually/physically ready-when our babies are ready and in the right position.  In most circumstances labor starts slowly so that we can gather our support system, create a safe environment and fully prepare for birth.  As labor progresses our oxytocin (love hormone) increases so that we can not only manage the birth process more easily, but in many cases we begin to reach out to those around us to have our needs met.  Birth is hard work, but God designed it perfectly so that women would need him, need those around her and so that most importantly she would fall madly in love with this new human being that will be born to her.

We were meant to birth our babies, reach down to scoop them up and hold them close.  The love hormone gives us such a desire to protect, love and cuddle our babies that nothing else matters.  We  have in many ways used non human interventions and separation to remove many of the significant moments that were planned for us-not just related to birth.  A woman was meant to experience hormones throughout her life including pain in labor and breastfeeding her children as a way to move onto the next stage of life-reborn into a stronger, more mature woman.  They were not meant to be obstacles to set aside for the sake of progress, technology and comfort.
**Please note my thoughts on the importance of modern medicine below.

We felt safe, loved and as if time stood still.  The level of human connection that we were allowed will forever change all of us.  Birth has become something beautiful for my daughters to look forward to.  And I'm hopeful that they will use their birth experiences as a way to connect in deep, meaningful ways to those around them.  To be filled with the love hormone and carry those experiences with them the rest of their lives.

We are meant to connect in ways that do not make sense in this overworked, overwhelmed world we live in.  Authentic connection often means more physical work, less efficient methods and patience than we think we're allowed-or have time for.  When you think about it-we have come to a point where we prioritize a lot above the most basic, normal activities humans we're designed for:  food, birth, community.  I admit that it's something that I struggle with myself-EVERY SINGLE DAY.  Perfection in the year 2014 may never be achieved, but if we are conscious of it we can do the work to allow as much humanity into our lives as possible.  Choosing to replace a few items we purchase regularly from someone local.  Learning their name and something personal about them.  Identifying a few things we can cut out of our schedule so we can add in meaningful work, and cook more meals together.  Research the ways our bodies were designed to work and pick at least a few to make a priority.  Work hard for the things that matter most.

I'm concerned with food, birth and community because that is how I spend my days right now.  Consider how you spend your days (and who you interact with) and how you may add more humanity to them.  The most important thing is the feeling (compassion)-for one another and ourselves.

We are trying to teach this to our children as we often have to sacrifice play dates with other kids their age, trips to the park or library for hard work in the garden.  We talk to them about enjoying the experience of hard work, learning from one another and the importance this plays in who they are now and who they will become.  We're thankful and blessed for all of the kind, loving people in our life who are on this journey with us.

There are so many memories I carry with me from our trip to Honduras last year, but one has stayed with me day after day.  In the airport-waiting for our flight- we were desperately trying to feed ourselves a combination of McDonalds and local airport fare.  While I wrangled our four kids in a very crowded seating area there was a woman behind me engaged in what appeared to be deep, meaningful conversation with a large group of men and women.  The conversation was passionate, loud and I was intrigued.  The woman was at the table, contributing and breastfeeding her baby.  And I'm not talking breastfeeding with a cover over the babies head.  The baby appeared to be about 9 months old and would latch, unlatch, play with things on the table and then go back to finishing her lunch-the entire time the mothers breast was exposed.  No one was offended, awkwardly looking away or concerned.  It was normal.

After struggling through becoming a mama for the first time-and then again and again-I realized that there are a lot of obstacles out there for moms, babies and families.  But one of the biggest challenges may just be that we stopped inviting mama's to the table and to the meaningful conversations that impact them the most.

Do women breastfeeding in public offend us because there is a breast involved?  Or could it be that at some point in history we decided that women who are breastfeeding their children should just stay home?  Did the fear of being left out of the conversation and unable to contribute to society allow formula companies the upper hand in marketing themselves to our insecurities, consumer driven, overworked selves?  I think it's time that we think this through and take advantage of what empowered mama's have to offer our communities.  Because let me tell you-there's nothing like a passionate and empowered mama to get things done.

Our bodies were beautifully designed to be nourished by breastmilk.  It is full of nutrients and antibodies that newborns need.  It's the perfect combination of fat, sugar, water, and protein.  The cells, hormones and antibodies help babies grow up healthy and fight disease.  It's good for mama's too-lowering the instances of type 2 diabetes, breast cancer, ovarian cancer and postpartum depression.  Research shows that if 90% of families breastfed exclusively for 6 months, nearly 1,000 deaths among infants could be prevented and the United States would save $13 billion dollars a year on medical costs.  That's my public service announcement in order to convince you-in case you need convincing.

After my fourth baby was born I was determined (and encouraged) to have my voice heard.  So I started showing up-with my baby- and when she was hungry, I fed her.  And you know what I found out?  People cared about what I had to say.  Especially those who work in public health.  One of the first things that the surgeon general  did in her new role was to release a call to action to support breastfeeding.  Laws have been put into place that allow women the right to pump at work and breastfeed in public.  Doesn't it seem odd that we had to create laws to protect women and babies in public?  Think about this for a moment.

A lot of work has been done locally to raise awareness of the importance of breastfeeding.  My friend Dana is the Breastfeeding Coordinator for our region and has done some awesome work building partnerships that have strengthened the success of women breastfeeding.  The BabyNet KY group as well as the Big Latch On are both tools for offering connection, support and mentoring.  One of the biggest barriers that women face to successful breastfeeding is the fear of public nursing.  It starts at the hospital when family comes to visit and continues as they fear their first public appearances.  There's nothing like sweating bullets in a public setting hoping that you can pull off discreet nursing.  Being a mama is hard enough without worrying about something as basic as feeding our children offending those around us.

My experience in Honduras combined with the work being done locally has got me thinking a lot about how far we've come from what was originally intended.   Most importantly, I think it's time to invite breastfeeding mama's back to the table and into everyday public life.  Welcomed in our restaurants, at the board meeting, churches, public spaces.  Engaged in conversations about society, health, community, rights and our future.

My friend Dana and I are thrilled to be working with Local Food For Everyone, Buy Local Bowling Green, Kentucky Public Health, and local, independently owned businesses to help normalize breastfeeding. We put up our first international breastfeeding logo at Community Farmers Market Bowling Green and will continue with additional breast feeding friendly environments over the next couple months.  Together, we can make breastfeeding normal again.