Have you wondered what it's like to be the mother of this precious, beautiful, amazing little girl-Elizabeth Grace?  All of my children are such unique, amazing human beings-I'm so thankful to be raising each and every one of them.  But let me take a moment or two to tell you why Elizabeth is so special to me-because tomorrow is her 9th birthday.

Since I had the honor to give birth to her I'm going to allow myself the opportunity to tell you what it's like to raise someone who is so much like myself, but even better.  When I see Elizabeth I recognize the person who was once inside myself as a child (but never allowed to reveal myself).  So many things held me back in life and in so many ways Elizabeth has been the key that not only unlocked who I was meant to be, but also allowed me to "stop and think" about how we do this thing called life-so all of our kids (and other people we know) can be their very own unique selves.

From the beginning Elizabeth wouldn't take a bottle.  Having switched to formula right away with Carter (even though I didn't want to) Elizabeth refused-it was as if from the very beginning she wanted to push me beyond my comfort zone and force me to do what I knew was right.  In all the ways that Carter is like his father-Elizabeth is just like me.  She's determined, eager, a hard worker, confident, and compassionate.  I'm forever thankful that her beautiful spirit combined with Carter's cautious skepticism encouraged Nathan and I to consider everything we had ever learned about life:  food, school, work, compassion, sacrifice, community.

When people have challenged her about the "few extra pounds" she's countered it with a healthy dose of "this is the healthy me and I'm okay with it".  When she's struggled with reading and writing she's remained optimistic that the other ways that she's learning and observing the world will serve her well.  When she's giving of herself beyond what seems appropriate for the average 9 year old-she just keeps giving until others start to believe in kids too.  Lord-I could just weep if I wasn't praising with joy at how relevant this child is to the current world.

I'll forever be thankful for my sweet Elizabeth-she's in many ways healed places deep inside my soul that I never even knew needed to be healed.  Maybe she's done the same for you.  If so, please be kind to her.  Be gentle on that sweet soul that will forever and always give more than she has to give and must be filled back up with love and praise in order to find the balance and hope she deserves.  She graciously and with mercy reminds me of all those needs within myself and others too.

Happy Birthday, Elizabeth Grace (your name fits you well).  Your mama is so thankful to have the honor to raise you up until you are on your own and flying free in this big, hard, beautiful world. 

I have people ask me for marketing advice from time to time.  While it's true that I have both a minor in marketing and an interest in how companies use various tactics to make us think we need what they are selling-my beliefs about "what sells" is very different from most.  It's really the opposite of selling that motivates me to do what I do.  

The opposite of selling is sharing.  

I'm motivated in the reality that life is short, both good and bad, and being lead by faith is what determines success.

Sharing Our Stories
There is no doubt that my courage to share our story-as it unfolded-with those who live close to home is the reason why Nathan and I were able to slowly move into making our full income from our daily work on the farm.  My story telling has never been a tool to sell and that is why it is all over the place including food, birth, community, equality, marriage. A mixture of photos on instragram, thoughts posted on Facebook and pouring out my soul here on the blog.  It's who I am-and what I'm thinking and going through-in real time without any filters (outside of the Instagram filters, of course). 

What my story telling does-I believe-is connect my life, opinions, and experiences to others who can somehow relate.  In return, those people may simply read and nod, send me a message, thank me in person for wearing my heart on my sleeve, or they may feel lead to get to know Nathan and I better-and eventually purchase the food we grow.  

Sharing Our Work
Where my story telling ends is where Nathan's hard physical work begins.  He is a doer.  He is motivated by the reality of global warming and a global food system that may leave the next generation with little to eat.  But rather than talking about it-he does.  He grew up on a farm and learned that doing means having.  For years his work was to directly benefit the dreams of others who wanted to stay on their family farms.  Today, his work is to create opportunity for our family to eat, a smaller handful of others to follow their dream to full time farming, and to provide good food for a handful of people who after connecting to our family choose to share their financial resources with us-by buying our food.

When my creative work meets the needs of our farm, but I still have more left to give-I pour that out into helping others-those who are willing to trust me to do so, of course.  My personal experiences lead me to care about birth, breastfeeding, food access & policy, and opportunity for all.  Sometimes that lines up with the values of others and other times it doesn't.

Sharing Our Resources
Our business model-if you could call it that-is to look at how much money we need to live a modest, but quality lifetyle-and that's how much farm work we take on to pay ourselves.  This allows us to take other resources into consideration-rather than just monetary.  Our time, energy, spiritual resources as they relate to raising our children, engaging our community, serving others must all be taken into consideration as we determine what to invest in our future.  

When we take only what is ours then we leave plenty for everyone else and that allows us to rest and breathe a bit easier at night.  The marketing world tells us to take as much as we can, but when we begin to share our stories and work with one another we are able to recognize once we have enough.

Sharing Our Success
Success is this funny thing.  It doesn't happen over night and all the dots that must be connected before it is achieved are easily forgotten.  It's easy for the person who is successful to decide that they need more and leap into the next big thing that might bring another brief moment of satisfaction.  It's also easy for those who benefit from our success to distrust the method of hope and courage that has been invested and want us to trade it in for methods that seem more safe.  To take the moderate level of success that was built on relationships and apply rules, control, and so much structure that in then end-only those on top survive.  My goal is to see success as it truly is-and to keep my focus on my core values rather than what is deemed successful by others.

In order to be inclusive in our success we must always consider how our work might become isolating, self serving, or an abuse of power.  For when that happens we become driven by fear rather than hope.  Taking time to share our success allows us to experience joy in life and appreciate what we've been given.  Sharing success helps it grow in ourselves and others.   I share my successes because they come with a good dose of reality in the hard work (from many people) that was involved in getting there and the truth that my success means that there is only more hard work to come.

Sharing Our Failures
Nathan and I experienced so many false starts and stops before making the full commitment to farming full time.  I share those experiences because I'm realistic that if you are out there considering making big risks-you will experience hard things too.  The failures add up quickly, but with each one I learn just what I need to know for what's to come.

If you haven't made the leap yet-you are still probably struggling with failures and hard things in your everyday life-you've just become comfortable with them.  Does that resonate?  

Sharing Our Value
Let me be honest-I want to be valued.  I want people to see my heart and desires as a good thing while treating me with respect and dignity.  My heart is heavy with the reality that I have been silenced-and many others have as well.  Women, families, farmers, low income households...just to name a few.  I truly believe that all of us-me, you, them-have value.  That's my "marketing secret".  I believe in myself and I believe in you.  I believe in those who everyone else has given up on.   I believe in their real, raw, authentic stores-the stories that once shared-will help them rise up and do that very thing that is pulling on their heart.  I want to see those who are living in their success and also those who are living in sorrow.  I want to listen to those who are for the first time settling into a healthy life and those who feel like they are barely getting by.  

It's so easy to retreat into a world of our own making.  To surround ourselves with what is comfortable, easy, self-serving and forget about the rest.  There's nothing wrong with enjoying life and acquiring more, but it's when we use those things to set us apart or above others that we do our own part in creating groups of people who are marginalized and abandoned.  That's when our sharing becomes selling.

Very simply we are a group of real people with very basic human needs-and we have the ability to meet those needs for one another when we are willing to live authentically.  The way that our ancestors lived life and did business was simple.  They worked hard, met their own needs, and took what was left over to share with one another.  Sharing meant survival for everyone.  

If you have never been the mama to a newborn baby-let me tell you that it is somewhat like the love for a sweet, new dog of your own.  There are moments with my sweet Janie when I can gently recall what if felt like to have a newborn in my arms.  A simple love that is hard to find anywhere else.

There are days when I must break away from the every day life on the farm and connect to things that feel inclusive.  Today has been one of those days.  It started with coffee with one of my friends who spends her days serving the most hungry in our community.  I'm thankful for the relationship I have with her and her willingness to let me ask important questions-no matter what they are.  While I've experienced hunger myself-it's been awhile and it's encouraging to connect to the needs of those in our community who are struggling right now, today.

Part of the conversations I've been having with women I respect has been how to connect the local food system to those who are not already engaged.  It appears that while concerns from the USDA, FDA, and other agencies are not reason to become preppers and hoarders we do need to be continuously looking at creating a local food system that is as inclusive as possible.  How difficult it is to work within cultural norms, systems, barriers-offering the upmost respect-but also ensuring that should breaks in the food system occur that everyone still has access to good food.  

I was encouraged once again when a good, black friend of mine allowed me to be completely open and honest with a few questions that I had about race.  There's going to be an exciting opportunity coming to Bowling Green in a few months focused on racial inclusion-and I'm thankful to be part of the discussion.  During a conference call I was torn as others used "African-American" while I continued to use "black" to describe those in my community who should be involved in this conversation.  I reached out to my friend-asked her opinion-and she reassured me that most black people are comfortable being called black.  Whew, how complicated we've made life, but how thankful I am to have friends that allow me to be completely blunt about my doubts and ignorances.

I'm now back on the farm-taking care of kiddos, with a long list of chores that need to be done quickly.  We have chickens coming later this week and lots of work to catch up on before then.  I'm excited to make my favorite heirloom tomato, artichoke, chicken dish (although I'm not certain I really have a recipe for it) and folks on Facebook seem to be interested in it-I think I'll take some photos and share the "process" of making the dish as it unfolds tomorrow.

One of the highlights of my day was coming home and opening the fridge to find a very scary plastic pig toy with a ploy kitten stuffed inside sitting on top of the bacon and next to the pimento cheese made by my friend Gabe at market.  Oh the joys of living in a house that is often full of pranksters.  Let's not take life too seriously, friends.  The pig reminded me of a message I received from our good friend Jesse with a contact about some local pigs-I need to follow up on that since the pig pen is just about ready.  Just another day as a farmwife...

I was standing at the checkout lane the other night and spotted a People magazine featuring a story on Garth Brooks-who 14 years ago gave up fame in order to become a stay-at-home dad.  Not realizing it at the time I think that his decision influenced me in a very meaningful way that carried into decisions that Nathan and I would make once we had children of our own.  While I can’t remember the exact quote-and there were others that have said the same-I do remember an interview from Brooks when he made the announcement that said that he wanted to be an old man that can look back on his life with no regrets.  That stuck.

Our decision for me to quit what was once my dream job in order to be home with Carter came after months of recovery from what was in all reality just very poor communication as a newly married couple.  We were in California-just a couple months after our own wedding-to celebrate the wedding of one of my dearest friends.  Out to dinner Nathan casually mentioned what I thought about being a stay at home mom someday.  I responded, “There’s no way I could do that.  I’ve got a college degree.  And realistically I make more money than you.  How in the world could we ever make it work?”  He nodded and shrugged his shoulders which led me to believe that he agreed.  It wasn’t until after our first child was born the next year that we brought the conversation back up.  After a few weeks of sleeplessness, arguments and blaming we finally settled in on a conversation that revealed that both of us were just being agreeable during that brief conversation a year before and neither of us meant what we said (or didn’t say).  Talk about a moment in time robbing you of your future.

We decided to take a vacation together and set aside time to talk more about the possibility that I may quit my job as the landscape manager for the city of Bowling Green to be at least partly a stay at home mom.  No matter what we tried it didn’t make sense on paper-but I couldn’t ignore the calling on my heart that we could make it work.  We immediately thought that we would have to sell our home and 12 acres and most likely move to a neighboring county living in as small as a house as we could manage.  The day that Nathan put the For Sale sign out in the yard was the day that we felt a sense of relief at for the very first time being obedient to God.

To make a long story shorter God had a plan that was bigger than we could have dreamed.  He worked it out for us to sell 10 acres of our land so that we could stay in our home-this provided the opportunity later for us to begin farming full time.  The next several years were filled with one decision after another to give up success in order to choose something better.  I took up doing wedding flower design for national magazines including BRIDE and Martha Stewart as well as being contracted by a local florist to do some of the most amazing weddings in Bowling Green.  Opportunities began coming my way and before I knew it I was away from my family more and more.  I had to make the decision that the gift of floral design (just as my previous career) was offered to me for a brief amount of time so I could help provide for the financial means of my family-nothing more.  I had to take a pass on what others would think are amazing opportunities.  I had to watch others step into the opportunities I had first dreamed.  It was and is still hard.  I face my pride each and every day.

Nathan has had to do the same over and over again himself.  He’s brilliant-in a very unassuming way.  His friends tell the story of the day he was announced as valedictorian and everyone around him was shocked.  He laughs because he knows all the assumptions that others make about him-and he takes it with a grain of salt-and humor.  He received a 3.98 grade point average from WKU in a double major-Agriculture and Economics.  His academic career could have gone as far as he could have wanted, but he made the conscious decision time and time again to make sacrifices in order to serve his family and community.  He does so in the most humble and considerate way-seriously, I’ve never met such a humble human being.  The complicated and challenging systems of growing that he manages on our farm seems so easy that others often attribute his success to his brawn over his brains-and he just allows them to continue thinking so.  In addition to wanting to be a present and engaging father he realizes that using his 12 years of academic and research experience to make year round farming for a complex combination of farm models successful will do the most for the future of full time farming in Kentucky-than it would for him to have continued in academics.  While he never says-I’ll assume that there are days where he faces what he’s given up too.

I mention all of this because I think it’s important for us to share our stories of sacrifices-as reminders that we live in a world of temptation and opportunity that can rob us from our best life.  To choose quality of life over success, money, retirement-just doesn’t make sense and it most certainly wasn’t taught to us in school.  Every time Nathan and I made the decision to sacrifice an opportunity for our family we were tempted in ways that often left us wondering if we were making the right decision.  Right before I put in my resignation with the city I was offered a pretty significant pay increase.  Opportunities for wedding flowers that I knew would never be available to me in the future had to be given up.  As soon as Nathan made the decision to farm full time opportunities that he had once dreamed of were being offered to him.  Even now-we make daily sacrifices that sometimes feel like we’re giving up the ease, comfort and financial freedom we deserve.  Through solid mentorship from people we respect we’re reminded that this is the process that everyone goes through as they break away from the American dream and step into true freedom that cannot be bought with cash.

There was a time when I fixed my hair every day, wore makeup, kept a clean house, had what others would call a successfully rising career.  There was very little that others could criticize me for.  I had it all together-for the most part.  Today-if you stop by the farm I’m fairly certain that there would be a long list of things it may appear I ought to be doing.  That’s when I have to dig deep into my own heart, pray to my God, engage my husband in conversation, ask for wisdom from women I admire and then move on as quickly as possible knowing that I’m doing the best that I can do and that as an old woman I’ll look back on my life with no regrets.