I wrote about my grandmother Grace and I'll continue to share more about her.  We have such a connection that was known when she was alive and becomes more solid as I get to know her by the items she chose to keep over time and the words she penciled in journals and on recipes.  Those items that best define who she was.  I ponder this as I determine which of my items tell my story well enough to be placed in 100 crates.

There is a spirit which I feel as I read her notes and finger her most prized possessions.  Hurt as a lost baby's things get tucked into a bag, items that made her feel beautiful, her apparent desire to feed her family well.  We're finding so many things tucked into the woods and ground of our new farm.  We're fortunate to have the best fencer around doing some fencing for us and as the first posts go in I keep thinking about the buried fences we found on our many farm visits over the last three years.  I wonder who might find this fence-so intentional and with purpose now-buried deep within the woods someday.

The best fencer around’s daughter is one of my grammarly friends and she paid me the best compliment asking me to write-in the way I do-about our experience with water witching on the farm.  This is a pretty big deal for this girl who didn't even know how to read and write until well beyond the appropriate age and writes with feeling rather than grammar, but here goes.

water witching (dowsing):
Dowsing is a type of divination employed in attempts to locate ground water, buried metals or ores, gemstones, oil, gravesites, and many other objects and materials, as well as so-called currents of earth radiation, without the use of scientific apparatus.

Before modern water systems were put in at the farm the families who lived here walked down to a spring in the woods-this meant that there wasn’t a well on the property.  In order to be more efficient and save we’ll be putting in a well in time for the animals and fall crops who will need it.  I’m not sure how Nathan came across someone to water witch for us, but as normally happens, he casually mentioned to me one morning before heading out the door that he was meeting our “water witch” to determine the best place for our new well.  This will go into the “city girl meets country boy” file, for sure.  I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I’m guessing it’s what I have seen in the movies.  Maybe a Turtle Man look alike carrying humongous tree limbs exaggerating each step across the farm.  Instead, I was greeted by a gentleman who looked dress for a round of golf carrying two tiny sticks-they wouldn’t have even held up a marshmallow for roasting.  He walked and talked and carried the tiny sticks around until he finally said, “well, you pretty much have water all over the property-so put the well wherever you want to.”  Not the dramatic well witching story I was expecting, but you can be certain we will have plenty of drama along the way.

The best fencer around's wife loves history and on the first night of fencing she was reading a historic document from the Simpson County Historical Society that references our new home because of the civil war soldier buried there-Sgt. Joseph W. Richards.  One of the sections she sent over makes me smile every single time. 

The guerillas had rifled the bureau drawers, taking what they wanted.  One of them seized a big shawl which Mrs. Barnes was wearing.  A lady of great courage and determination, she held on the shawl and wouldn’t let the man have it, whereupon he threatened to shoot her if she didn’t give it to him.  To that she replied, “Well, go ahead and shoot.  You won’t rob me of many days.”  Another of the raiders said, “aw, let her have it.”  So she kept the shawl.

Makes me wonder if she wanted to keep her shawl for warmth or because it would be the only thing left of her once she was gone.  Did someone keep the shawl in remembrance of her feisty spirit telling that story over and over again?  I bet my grandmother would have been one of those women who wouldn't have given up her shawl…and I hope in my old age I'm one of those women too.

My grandmother offered me up big spoonfuls of grace like that.  Ironically, her name was Grace and these spoons belonged to her.  She wanted more than anything for me to consider learning to cook so I could nourish the family she prayed I would one day have.  She sent me recipes, measuring guides and even a bread maker once she had given up on me taking up real domestic measures.  I disappointed her time and time again as I reminded her that "I was getting an education so I wouldn't have to cook.  Any husband of mine would just have to fend for himself.  I'll depend on take out and quick meals if I decide to have kids."  She'd just smile, serve me up my favorite nourishing foods and offer me grace on the side.

This is the kind of grace that brought us to where we are today.  More on that another day, but I can guarantee you that it's only by grace and certainly not by perfection or traditional professionalism that we've been given the opportunity to farm full time.  Instead of being professional I want to be kind, rather than play by the rules I want to be ridiculously giving.  I want to offer unrealistic grace to everyone who supports our farm, works alongside us and especially to my family.  It's the reason why I devote so much of my time and energy to something that leaves me exhausted at the end of the day.  So that when someone is expecting judgement, shame and a dose of "I told you so" I can turn it around and offer them grace.  It may not make sense and I don't always get it right, but it's the way I desire to live.  It's what I want to teach my children.  It's the only thing that makes living in this world even somewhat bearable.

In nearly a year and a half of farming full time I've always expected that everyone who supports us will make decisions that are in the best interest of our farm and family.  And in all this time I've only been wrong twice.  How much time I would have wasted if I had worried for a minute about the two or expected the worst about any more.  I would have missed the good stuff.  The jars of sweet preserves, the coloring books, the treat for our dog and even a cold beer (you know who you are) tucked away inside the return basket.  What if instead of expecting the best I had determined the worst.  Not only would I have been wrong a lot, but I would have a heart full of bitterness and ugly.  Instead, this grace I'm offered and this grace I give fills me up so that I can keep on giving in ways no one deserves. 
Grace.

I had to send an email last week that I had been putting off for a while.  A couple of months ago I had made a commitment to one of my favorite local farmers on a trade for weekly shares of milk.  Believing in it's benefits and thinking that we might not find a new farm this year I thought I would take the time to catch back up on my milk preservation skills-something I had been missing.  The next week we bought a new farm and life just came at me faster than I knew what to do with it.  I'm sure you can guess what happened.  The milk piled up and I just didn't have the patience to attempt to keep up.  Not only did I have to send an email backing out of the commitment, but I also had to admit that I had more bottles at home than any responsible customer should be accumulating. 

I deserved a response reminding me of my commitment, explaining what a burden my hoarding of milk jars had become and a little extra shame thrown in since anyone with a right mind (or knows me at all) could have seen this coming.  But you know what she did?  She offered me grace.  Not just any grace, but grace in big heaping spoonfuls.  Even better than that she said she's been there and that she understands what my life is like right now.  Her kindness-while undeserved-was welcomed at a time when I really needed it.  Grace.

Four years ago Nathan and I were exhausted from a long day of work-he in the recliner, me on the couch-and we both looked at one another and understood (this couldn't be all about us).  With a touch of success and the reality that we may actually be able to farm full time one day we knew that if we were to be true to ourselves we must make every effort for local food to be for everyone-not just those who have the immediate knowledge and financial means to acquire it.  Our first partnership, together with other farmers from Community Farmers Market, was with The Foundry thanks to our friends Adam Shourds and John David Ryan with a garden project, then community classes, then kids programming and now this, what people really need-access to food.  Today-we celebrate the Heirloom tomato and all it represents. 

The way we used to eat, the reality that we as a society have become separated from fresh, real food (some of us more than others).  Some of us choose not to eat our fruits & vegetables because of the vast opportunities of other foods that we have available to us-others have no choice.

heir·loom
: a valuable object that is owned by a family for many years and passed from one generation to another
Take a moment to consider that this separation from fresh food, garden food is new for many.  Only a few short generations ago we were all connected to our food-growing it to survive.  Many new to the United States were just in years past visiting their local market every day for their food.  The commercialization and intensity of the companies who have won us over in this country pull us away more and more every year.  The ability to celebrate something fresh and good in this way, grab our attention if only for a short season and create this kind of joy is a blessing beyond words.  It's a reminder that wholesome, delicious, healthy food is not gone forever.
heir·loom
: an old type of plant that is still available because individual people have continued to grow it for many years

This tomato represents opportunity that was given to our family only so that we could give back to our community.  You are invited to come and go at the fourth annual Heirloom TomatoFest today (Wednesday July 16th) from 4-6:30 pm at The Foundry.  Come and go among farmers, volunteers community leaders, those with many resources and those without. 

We will gather around the tomato tasting for the fourth year and celebrate.  Celebrate Nathan's ability to follow his dream and farm full time, Michelle's ability to break free from her past, a family trying to find balance, opportunities being provided to inspirational young people, community leaders who are living this out each and every day, residents of a community that no matter how you look at it-just do not have the resources most of us have.  Come out today, break up your routine, celebrate the tomato and ask someone to share their food story with you.  I bet it will be beautiful.

Why the name change?
Our start as Need More Acres began the day Nathan penciled it in on some paperwork that asked for an "official" farm name.  Farming on two acres made the name both practical and fitting.  Our farm hunt took over three years and we had plenty of time to debate whether or not we would keep the name.  After settling in on Hickory Lane we determined that the name seemed equally fitting for the changes that are happening for our farm family.  For now we're Hickory Lane Farm, but will always be formerly Need More Acres.  And if you prefer to continue to call us that-its okay ;-)

How are you managing two farms at one time?
Since all of our crops are currently planted at Need More Acres and at a few neighboring farms we'll be doing most of our farming there until October.  Fencing, barn raising and chickens are happening over the next few weeks and then we'll be inviting cows and pigs to join the farm in August.  We'll be traveling back and forth knowing the light at the end of the tunnel is having our entire farm in one footprint come fall. 

Why are you decreasing your customer base rather than increasing?
We look at farming from a holistic whole life perspective.  We chose full time farming because we believe in it, we love the food, we want to be involved in our community and we want to work together as a family.  We've been able to determine our cost of living and then determine how many households to feed and who in the food system we can sell to.  This has not only allowed us to develop a business model that fits our families needs, but also allows to provide opportunities to other beginning farmers and small business owners.

What options will be available from your farm?
The Howell family will have two CSA options.  A proteinn & vegetable CSA available to 20 households and available for pickup at Community Farmers Market on Saturdays (currently sold out); an "all you can eat" option available for 5 households with pickup at the farm on Thursday evenings.  In addition, food grown on our farm will be available through Think Little CSA, Farm Fresh-But Already Fixed and on the menu at HOME Cafe, in the cafeteria at Bowling Green City Schools, at HOTEL INC and Rian's Fatted Calf.

What is Farm Fresh-But Already Fixed?
We met Emily Aldridge over a  year ago when she joined our summer CSA and offered to volunteer at the market, on our farm and at the Food For All garden. Emily started offering her time out at the farm harvesting for donations to HOTEL INC.  What we weren't expecting is how delicious her contributions in the kitchen would be. Our Monday evening meals became the highlight of our week. Taking leftovers, seconds from the field and adding only the best olive oil, salt and seasonings Emily was able to throw together some of the best food you've ever eaten. Farm Fresh-But Already Fixed is a collaboration between the food grown on our farm and the transformation that will happen through Emily in our new on farm certified kitchen.  Sign up for Farm Fresh-But Already Fixed HERE.

What is Think Little CSA?
We met Jordan and Jackson Rolett via facebook when they were becoming interested in events and activities through Community Farmers Market.  Over breakfast at HOME Cafe Jackson mentioned interest in collecting compost at the market on Saturday mornings.  That idea combined with time and commitment to the market grew into the Rolett's being fully invested in the market and here on our farm.  They began coming out on Mondays to help us harvest for CSA.  Their contribution to our farm became critical during the time of Nathan's moms decline of health and we'll be forever thankful.  As Jackson fell more in love with his time on the farm and Jordan found her place contributing in the field, kitchen and through recipe and photography they became more and more determined to farm full time.  Think Little CSA was started this spring and will expand this fall with a year round CSA.  You can sign up for their CSA HERE.

What does a typical day on your farm look like?
That's a really difficult question because each day looks so different.  We have more of a weekly flow rather than a daily one.  We are currently offering CSA pickups two days a week which means that we harvest the day before. In between. we're planting, harvesting (squash and tomatoes must be picked every day), taking down high tunnels, putting in new infrastructure at the new farm, fixing broken equipment and praying for rain.  Michelle is balancing the change of farm model with spending more time in the kitchen, homeschooling and making the new farm a home. 

Will you continue your work in the community?
ABSOLUTELY!  First and foremost our hearts will always be committed to the farmers, vendors and volunteers at Community Farmers Market.  They are our family.  Michelle will continue publishing EAT-Local Food For Everyone (with a new partnership to be announced soon).  Nathan will continue to work for policy change and mentor beginning farmers.  Food access, food system development and birth and breastfeeding rights will continue to be part of our commitment to our community. 
We look forward to working in Bowling Green and now in Allen County.

We're getting it done on the farm. Fencing for cows and pigs.

Fall row crops. Winter squash, brassicas, onions, potatoes

We're currently farming on less than 2 acres...that freshly plowed piece of ground right in the middle of our new farm is right at an acre. Looks like we do not need more acres anymore

And time for playing. Thankful for these swings.

Let me start by saying that if you don't like stereotypes or gender referencing this may not be the writing for you, but if you are open minded to the idea that married Kentucky farming women (particularly those with children-since I have four) might just be full of courage, competency and character you may want to stick around. 

"Now, of all times in our history, we should be using our minds as well as our hearts in order to survive...to live gracefully if we are to live at all." MFK Fisher in 1942

My love for the waiting and savoring of local food began with these tart, green apples.  Called Lodi's or June apples, you simply boil them down in water and sweeten.  At 16 I got my very first job at a local orchard.  After mentioning several times to the farmers wife that I had never really cooked anything in the kitchen she encouraged me to try with these.  She gave me a couple of different recipes (all of them saying, boil water, slice, cook down, sweeten).  I remember making what would be my first grocery store purchase-sugar and a paring knife.  How much satisfaction there was in the slicing, and tasting.  There will always be an adoration for this special apple that taught me to cook.

If someone in the household (or community) must care about the nourishment of body, mind and soul-who better for the job than a woman who has a bent towards compassion, multitasking, and getting things done (like most women do).  And who better to help her husband sell local food than his wife who prepares it.  I think back to women living on conventional farms growing wheat, tobacco, corn.  I can see where outside of preparing food for the men who worked those farms, raising children, helping pay bills and being involved within their community that they may have felt limited to their involvement on the farm-making off farm jobs (with benefits) so appealing.  I'm certain those crops were all sold to large corporations, mostly men.  On small-scale local food farms most of the food is being sold to households, women.  Who better to connect deeply to the product that must be chosen wisely and marketed with heart-than the farmwife.

My time with other farmwives has taught me not to expect perfection, but to notice the bits and pieces that our unique roles play in a society that is aching for hard work, good food and practical solutions.  A piece of each one of those women is carried with me as I work through feeling comfortable with the new role I'm living.  When I first became a Stay At Home Mom there was something missing.  Between running errands to kill time and simply keeping busy I felt this urgency to do something else..more..special...hard.  As I read Proverbs 31 I couldn't help but realize that maybe my life as wife and mom wasn't as limited as I had once thought.  She does good-seeks wool and flax, works with her hands, she brings food from afar, she buys a field, she plants a vineyard, she opens her hand to the poor, sells in the local marketplace.

To really care about food, how it is grown and where, the nutrition available to our bodies and how we experience it in community is anything but demeaning.  In fact, the connection I've experienced and the influence I'm able to offer my family and community is one of the most liberating experiences I've ever encountered.  My unique role as farmwife allows me to work alongside my husband to provide income for our family, teach my children wise practical skills that will carry them well and help my community make positive changes towards food access and a stronger, local economy.

More than a definition I'm recognizing the need to allow my past to line up with my calling in order to do the work I was designed to do in the short time I've been given to do it.  I'm no longer held captive to the way I was raised, the way I was taught, the commercials and noise.  Nor do I plan to be held captive to anyone elses definition of farmwife.  That's for each of us to work out.  The balance of my days includes making investments, policy change meetings, harvesting in the fields, cooking in the kitchen, facebook updates while rocking my babies--all while having a deep, meaningful respect and admiration for my husband.  For now, my redefining looks much more like stripping off all definitions and becoming clothed in the normal, beautiful realness of everyday life.

"I milked. I helped in the fields. Whatever had to be done. Every day. I never had a public job. Always at home. But I could do anything that had to be done on a farm. I think that's where they got the idea of family farms. Because a family worked the farm. Every member of the family worked. My children learned to work on this farm." Dorothy Cox (Kentucky Farmwife) 1920's